Life and struggle of a confused model: The Beginning

Life and struggle of a confused model! The beginning!

As time went by my weight lost journey continued. Well, somewhat. It fluctuated. As well as being a plus size model I had a full time job as a customer service rep working at Health Net in their Medicare prescription department. I actually liked the job itself. But I hated going because I had a dream I wanted to fulfill and I couldn’t do it working a 9 – 5. I can’t recall how many times I took off for a casting. But I was determined. Everyday that I sat at my cubicle I just knew that this is not what god had in store for me. I knew he had blessed me with many talents that he did not want to go to waste.

But let me take you back for a second to the beginning. Aside from being a model, I dance, sing, song write, and act. Music is my passion. I loved writing poems and turning them into songs and I loved writing songs for others. I wrote my first song when I was 10. And performed in my 4th and 5th grade talent shows performing Aaliyah’s Hot Like Fire one year and 4 Page Letter the second. But with music it was difficult for me to get anywhere because I lacked confidence when it came to singing. Because I didn’t sound like Destiny’s Child I felt like I didn’t sound good. And because my mother didn’t support me but supported my brothers rap career and had made comments here and there definitely affected me as a young girl. And not only that I was what they called at the time “ thick “. I was the third oldest out of 10 and was the only plus size one. All my sisters were pretty and small. But I was tall, thick, had a gap between my teeth. And had the most chubby round face. So for me insecurities grew at a young age.

At age 12 my father died. And it killed me. It killed me so much that I tried to take my own life literally. I was sad, depressed, and had no one to talk to. I thank the lord that he knew I was a kid and didn’t let me die. That he knew that this was a phase of sadness and depression and that I would over come it. In which I did. Losing my daddy left a part of me feeling empty and angry. Many unanswered questions. The main one was why didn’t he say goodbye to me? I was his baby girl and he always made that clear so I couldn’t get why he left me. At 12 I just didn’t understand it which caused me to get more insecure. But despite what I was going through I always knew to pray. Even at a young age. And I did just that.

But no matter how I felt about myself I always had in my mind that I will be something! I will be someone! And of course life continued.

Until next week luvs ….

Life and struggle of a confused model: Intro

Follow me on my journey as I follow my dreams as a plus size model. Well I would say plus size because I am a size 12/14. But because I am height and weight proportionate many say that I am not! For some of you, who have been rocking with me from day one, you have seen me at a size 18! For my new followers you’ve only seen me at a 12/14 and are confused as to why I call myself a plus size model because I don’t look it. To some that is. But what is plus size? At what size is someone considered plus size? And why is everyone’s opinion on plus size different? Why is plus size still not acceptable to some in the industry? Why does this industry try not to pay plus size models?! There are SOOO many questions when it comes to plus size modeling.

Follow me as a confused model. Trying to figure out what works for me and not everyone else. Follow me as I open up about my daily struggles and my success as a plus size model. And not confused as in I don’t know what I want or who I am but confused as in the industry doesn’t know where I fit in due to my size and shapeliness. People only see the beautiful photos but don’t see or know the actual struggle behind the photo. I want for you to follow my story. My road to success. Because I refused to fail due to my size! So read my story as I give you the honest truth about my experience as a plus size model. And one thing about me is I’m very honest. I don’t lie! No need to.

Initially I had my very first photo shoot when I was 14 yrs old. What it was for? I couldn’t even tell you. It was something my mother put together. At 21 I decided I wanted to get into modeling on a more serious note. I had loved taking pictures and wanted to make it my profession. Before doing so I produced a fashion show with my friend in Oakland, CA called Rip The Runway In The Bay. The show was a success and there is where I met a plus size model named Tracy Collins. A little while after the show she stated that she was producing her own all plus size model show and wanted me in it. Her show, Kiss the Curves was my first big fashion show and that was just the beginning.
I went and created an account on Model Mayhem. Model Mayhem And also looked for casting on Craigslist.Craigslist EVERYDAY! I modeled in tons of fashion shows for free. I did TFP photo shoots to build my portfolio. I did whatever I can to network and build a name for myself. And then my big break came. Or so I thought it did.

At size 18 I was signed to Marla Dell Talent agency in San Francisco, CA as a fit model. Your probably thinking a fit model??! Yes, you can make a great deal of money being a fit model. Plus, Marla Dell is a well known agency in the San Francisco area. Anyhow, I was beyond happy and excited! I went on my first go see and it was with Levis Jeans and I was selected for the job. As time went by I went on more go sees but never got the jobs. Now I was finding work on my own, paid and unpaid, but when you sign to an agency you think that your struggle as a model is over. NOT! Well for me it wasn’t.

Everyone else saw me as plus size but I just saw myself as a model with just as much drive then a standard one. So I went to my agent to ask her what the issue was and why I was not booking jobs and she stated that I was too curvy. That at a size 18, with measurements 45 – 39 – 50, I needed to lose some weight to become what they call “standard model size“. Or a “straight“ model. I thought to myself, well why in the hell did you sign me if you felt as if I needed to lose weight but I just said, OK.
I continued to book my own work. And from that point forward I never booked any other jobs with the agency. Now do know that when signed to an agency they get you the go sees and you are to get yourself the job but I wasn’t even getting the go sees. I did start to work on my weight. I was OK with my size but didn’t mind losing a few pounds so I started dieting and walking. As I started on my journey I ALWAYS told myself that I would never change for this industry! Only for myself!! And I meant it! And this was only the beginning!!

So stay tuned for my next post as this is just my introduction. But the best is yet to come.

“The term is no longer plus unless your adding me to the shoot”

Plus model SeJoya